STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
