I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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