Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
