Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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