I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
