he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
