Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
