fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
