Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
