I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
