we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
