she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
