I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
