Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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