All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you traded sex for a burrito?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
