My brain says no but my pants say off.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
