i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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