I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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