Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
