i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
