My underwear smells like fireworks.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
