my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
