that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
