Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
