OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
