I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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