Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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