Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
