he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
