Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
