she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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