scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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