he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
