guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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