So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
