Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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