I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
