she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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