I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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