it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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