that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
