Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
