hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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