I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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