This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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