Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize