I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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