I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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