I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
