it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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