margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Screwed.edu
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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