Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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