DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize