wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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