i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize