there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
