Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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