I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
