what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
