party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
