so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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