i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish you could order shots online.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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