Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
