so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
