just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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