I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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